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state of Shock-

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state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:59 pm

Last night the wife told me she wants to split up not divorce, split up. She said she had enough...... of what I ask. Fuck I'm so confused this hit me like a ton of bricks, I haven't slept all night. All i could think is what now and she wont even talk to me. I asked if I need to move out, she said "I didn't have to". What she just rolled into her covers, what the hell.
Over an out...
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:01 pm

It really hurts.....ahhhh
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:13 pm

Holy cow. Not much to be said here, but I am sending a PM. Hang in there.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  ethelred on Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:07 pm

Only advice I have is don't do anything rashly or qiuckly until the picture becomes more clear. And best of luck.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:45 pm

thanks....

i'm so confused. see what happens.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  agent1a on Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:52 pm

that sucks, your head must seem messed up now but try to calm down and sort things out.

Maybe a marriage counselor?
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Seamaster on Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:54 pm

So sorry to hear, blur.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  East on Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:47 am

This is the worst thing I have heard all week. I am sorry I can't really offer you much advise. Just try to get through it and you will feel better eventually.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  kellie on Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:05 am

sorry to hear this
sucks when that happens out of the blue (been there)
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  PhotoOtaku on Tue Oct 26, 2010 3:14 pm

mrblur, where are you...?

I hope our operative hasn't gone rogue.

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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Tue Oct 26, 2010 5:28 pm

Give him time.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Seamaster on Tue Oct 26, 2010 6:41 pm

We're here for you, blur.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  MaX Karnage on Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:32 am

This is terrible news, if you would like to talk I am available.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:25 am

Thought we lost you there too, MK. Nice to see you back.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Mon Oct 17, 2011 9:42 pm

I would like to add to this thread. Let me tell you after thinking having another baby would fix everything it did not. Why did I think it would be much better, when someone is desperate I suppose men do some stupid things. I have two lovely kids a 8yr old and a 2month old.

The last time we went through a rough patch we ended up working out things and had a baby. It was like a honeymoon when she was pregnant I even gained an extra 20 pounds. Well as of recently we have not spoken for over a week. We got in a argument well it was really not an argument, as some of you may know I work from home and travel when need be. I take my son to school everyday i pick up him up too when I'm not traveling. Well while working I seen the wife having a hard time with baby and keep my son on task with homework so I offered to take the little one with me to the other room. After a minute or so she comes in and tells me to give him to her and I said hey just relax I could see your frustrated go take a nap, shower or what not I have it handled. So she starts yelling to give him to her I said his fine with me here. Long story short she ended up hitting me in the nuts with her knees, I'm not joking. I'm not sure how I contained my composure I really did want to scare my other son in the other room.


Anyway I'm ready to move out I have a Psycho wife. I've been looking for a place this is it I'm leaving, it just hurts me to leave my kids. ah fuck I'm so confused.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  ADOR on Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:35 pm

As have gone through two divorces all I can say is remember just because you two are apart you will still be apart of your kids life. I have full custody of my oldest boy from my first marriage and got joint custody of my youngest two boys. I sounds like if she pushed it that far as attacking you she has something eating at her. My first ex wasn't that bad, my second one "took the cake". She got real defensive, loud and always suspicious that I was doing something behind her back. IN "MY" CASE, it turned out that she was seeing someone else. She didn't physically see him, but they were making plans on the Internet of what they wanted to do. Remember this was just me, everything put together from before and after the fact. But if she has got like that something is eating at her constantly in the back of her mind. Just knowing what it is may or may not be a good thing. And if you do split, don't lay awake at night with that one word question "why" you will never truly find the answer that will fell right. I can't really say advice to someone I don't know, but all I can offer is what I found out in "my" situation.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  PhotoOtaku on Mon Oct 17, 2011 10:45 pm

Of course I don't know your situation, so I'm just throwing things out there...

Could this be a sign of Postpartum depression in your wife?

Give up on that Foresquare mayor-ship of that liqueur store and you'll loose the 20 lbs.

Continue to stay strong & cool headed, as you have been doing for your boy.

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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:33 am

Whatever you end up doing, stay strong and keep your cool at all times, even if nut-shots are involved. Any displays of temper on your part can and probably will be used against you later. It sucks -- and I have dealt with something similar, so I know just how bad the suckage can be -- but you have to keep turning the other cheek. Don't provide ammunition.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Seamaster on Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:31 am

I also understand the suckage. If things are that rough, a little space might be best. The two of you won't be able to get at the real issue(s) until the emotion has settled a bit.

Only you and your wife can determine if separation or working it out is best for the two of you. Don't give up on everything just yet, but also do what's right for everyone. Life is too short to be miserable.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:00 pm

Indeed.
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:49 pm

Misery loves company. With anything there is much more to it then it seems. If I move would that be abandonment I can't just leave my kids. This is suckage, today she said she wants to work it out.... I think I don't want to work it out anymore to much of a rollercoaster ride for me
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:27 pm

PM sent to someon....
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  Iago on Sun Oct 23, 2011 8:34 am

Hopefully you got a response . . .
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  mrblur on Sun Oct 23, 2011 8:40 am

Well we had a long talk, everything back to normal for now. this can't be good either way.

affraid
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Re: state of Shock-

Post  ethelred on Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:30 am

Sounds like you are burned out. I got to that point with my first wife, and even though she decided to get some professional help, at the time, it was too late for me. I've often questioned whether leaving was the correct decision or not. I know it resulted in lasting changes to my oldest son.

I guess my final piece of advice would be to exhibit more patience than I did. You can't recork the bottle.

edit:Iago got my meanining even though my fingers didn't.


Last edited by ethelred on Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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